24 Hours per Day and Relationships

Prioritized relationships
How do you prioritize your relationships?

A friend posted this on Facebook this week.  She got it from Relationship Rules.

People make time for who they want to make time for.  People text and reply to people they want to talk to.  Never believe anyone who says they’ve been too busy.  If they wanted to be around you, they would.

Wow, that snapped me to attention.  How about you?

Same 24 hours

I know you know this. We each have 24 hours in a day. We each need to spend 6-8 of those sleeping to be our best.  We each take time out to eat.  Beyond that, we have so many choices.

Are you choosing to spend some of your 24 hours with other people?

With which people?

Do you focus on the person right in front of you at any given moment?

Do you gravitate to the ‘squeeky wheel’ or most annoying just to make them stop?

How about the relationships you claim are the most important in your life?

Are you guilty as I am? I know I can get so caught up in the immediate needs placed before me, I can get through an entire day shortchanging my family, especially my husband.

What about friends? Which relationships will still be with you into retirement?  How much attention do they receive from you?

Investing in Personal Relationships

There’s an exercise we do in Retirement Wellness Strategies™ to think through which relationships will fade and which will sustain.

Think about with whom you would plan a vacation or weekend getaway.  If you were traveling, with which friends would you stay while in their area, or at least let them know you’re in town to get together?

How much of your attention are you giving your spouse these days?   Is it enough? How much time will you spend together after retirement?  Are you on the same page with these answers?

Planning for a socially healthy retirement takes some focus.  We can help!  Contact us at Retirement Wellness Strategies to learn how we can help you have a healthy – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially – retirement!

www.retirewellness.com

michelle@retirewellness.com

410-472-5078

BIBLICAL APPLICATION

Do your stated priorities and the way you spend your time align?

Does the time you spend with people reflect their importance in your life?

Whew, those are tough questions!

Are you waiting for later to spend quality time with the people who matter most?

Just when we think we are good planners and have our lives prioritized and together, James is brutally direct:

James 4:13-15 ESV

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”

It is so easy to take those we love for granted and give all of our time to people who will not be with us in our most critical times of life.  It is also easy to be around people who are comfortable and avoid relationships that are more challenging.

And what about our call to love our neighbors?  Who is that? What does it mean?

1 Peter 4:8 ESV

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Psalm 39:4-5 ESV

“O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!”

Look to the one source of ‘right living’.  It is amazing how all of the important things fit into a day when the Lord directs it.

Proverbs 16:9 ESV

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Your future is loving and beautiful when you are living a life dedicated to God.

Matthew 24:36 ESV

“But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.”

May we all make wise choices with each of our 24 hours.  I’m praying for you as you prioritize those God calls you to love.  Please pray for me, too.

Blessings,

Michelle

 

Healing Our Wounds – Skin and Relationships

scar-tissue
Healing skin wounds is a complex process. The same is true for relationship wounds.

Civility, caring for other people, conflict management, self-control, integrity are constructive traits.  I am disappointed and dismayed by the negativity in society right now.  As we near our national election there is blame, ridicule, slander, questionable integrity, and division.  Candidates and regular people on the streets are tearing each other apart.  These wounds can be hard to heal.  Consider what love, patience, and goodwill could do to aid healing in our society right now.

Healing skin wounds

Do you have any scars?  The body’s primary defense mechanism and largest organ is the skin.  Any breach in the skin’s integrity can allow bacteria and infection into the body, alter the body’s ability to regulate temperature and water storage, and it usually hurts.  The skin is a very sensitive organ.

Any cut, tear, wound results in an influx of parts of the immune system to start healing the wound.

If the wound is small enough, the skin on either side of the cut can rejoin, sometimes without even a scar.

If the wound is larger, the gap is too big to allow the two sides of the skin to reattach.  In that case, granulation tissue forms to fill the gap.  New small blood vessels grow in to the area, fibrin ‘scaffolding forms’ and cells build in around the fibrin.  Then, more small blood vessels are formed, more fibrin ‘scaffolding’ forms, and more cell fill in the area.  This continues until the whole space is filled with granulation tissue.  This appears as a scar.  The space where the wound left a gap that was filled with granulation tissue is noticeable.  That skin will not be or look the same.  Granulation tissue contains fewer cells and blood vessels compared to normal skin.

Healing relationship wounds

This scar tissue is only 60-85% as strong as normal tissue.  So although the body heals itself, it is not like the wound never happened.  That is so true of our emotional scars as well.  It’s too easy to let words fly when we’re angry.  In a rage, your objective might be to win and tear the other person down.  This might feel ‘good’ in the moment.  But what happens later?  What about the guilt and shame?  What about the damage done to the relationship?  Some things can’t be completely undone.  But much healing CAN be done, and a 60-85% healed relationship is better than no relationship at all.

For more information about how the body heals itself or the health impacts of negativity, contact us at http://www.medsmash.com/contact.

Biblical Application:

It can distressing to see so much negativity all over the media.  It seems to be adding to the negativity in the workplace, the community, the church, and the home.  I encourage us to take a deep breath and focus on our one stable source of hope and joy.

Our interpersonal differences can lead to cuts and wounds in families and groups.  If those cuts can be identified and resolved quickly through skilled communication and love, they can often heal without so much as a scar.

But, when they are left unaddressed or allowed to get worse and worse, the healing process can be messy and less effective than it would have been if handled quickly.  This is not to say that healing is impossible.  Just as the human body is amazing in its resilience, with mediation, healing, communication, and forgiveness, relationships can heal and grow.  They may not look the same, changes may occur, but reconnection and resumed integrity can be achieved.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

May your wounds, your relationships, your faith be strong.

Blessings,

Michelle Fritsch

yourhealthandsoul

Image showing granulation tissue filling a woundDo you have any scars?  The body’s primary defense mechanism and largest organ is the skin.  Any breach in the skin’s integrity can allow bacteria and infection into the body, alter the body’s ability to regulate temperature and water storage, and it usually hurts.  The skin is a very sensitive organ.

Any cut, tear, wound results in an influx of parts of the immune system to start healing the wound.

If the wound is small enough, the skin on either side of the cut can rejoin, sometimes without even a scar.

If the wound is larger, the gap is too big to allow the two sides of the skin to reattach.  In that case, granulation tissue forms to fill the gap.  New small blood vessels grow in to the area, fibrin ‘scaffolding forms’ and cells build in around the fibrin.  Then, more small blood vessels are formed, more fibrin…

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Healing Our Wounds

Image showing granulation tissue filling a woundDo you have any scars?  The body’s primary defense mechanism and largest organ is the skin.  Any breach in the skin’s integrity can allow bacteria and infection into the body, alter the body’s ability to regulate temperature and water storage, and it usually hurts.  The skin is a very sensitive organ.

Any cut, tear, wound results in an influx of parts of the immune system to start healing the wound.

If the wound is small enough, the skin on either side of the cut can rejoin, sometimes without even a scar.

If the wound is larger, the gap is too big to allow the two sides of the skin to reattach.  In that case, granulation tissue forms to fill the gap.  New small blood vessels grow in to the area, fibrin ‘scaffolding forms’ and cells build in around the fibrin.  Then, more small blood vessels are formed, more fibrin ‘scaffolding’ forms, and more cell fill in the area.  This continues until the whole space is filled with granulation tissue.  This appears as a scar.  The space where the wound left a gap that was filled with granulation tissue is noticeable.  That skin will not be or look the same.  Granulation tissue contains fewer cells and blood vessels compared to normal skin.  And, it is only 60-85% as strong as normal tissue.

Biblical Application:

Our interpersonal differences can lead to cuts and wounds in families and groups.  If those cuts can be identified and resolved quickly through skilled communication and love, they can often heal without so much as a scar.

But, when they are left unaddressed or allowed to get worse and worse, the healing process can be messy and less effective than it would have been if handled quickly.  This is not to say that healing is impossible.  Just as the human body is amazing in its resilience, with mediation, healing, communication, and forgiveness, relationships can heal and grow.  They may not look the same, changes may occur, but reconnection and resumed integrity can be achieved.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

May your wounds, your relationships, your faith be strong.

Blessings,

Michelle Fritsch